Tri-Yak-A-Thon 2014

My friend Krisi is getting into triathalons and registered for what was called the "Tri-Yak-a-thon" (run, kyak, bike) in Fort Scott. She's not a huge fan of going down hills, so when she realized that the bike part was single track, she called for my assistance. "I'll pay for half your entry fee! I just really don't want to do the bike part; I will die!". I laughed and agreed to help her out with the warning that it's been over a year since I rode single track and 3 since my last race. My last race. Ah yes. The one where I was more out of shape than I realized, but I still rode my @ss off to the point that it was dangerous and I wrecked. The race where I endo'd (went over my handlebars) and later found out that the pain in my hand was a dislocated finger. The race where I won 3rd in the state...simply for showing up. I remember that quite well. It put the fear of God in me where I lacked regarding going down hills and crashing. I used to not have a fear of going down hill or crashing. Those were good times. Ignorant times, but good times. I was really good at being reckless on my bike, crashing, bleeding and getting up to do it all over again once I knew nothing was broken. All without health insurance, might I add. Then I got married and all my feelings of invincibility were smothered to death by the idea that I'd be financial or emotional burden to someone else if I had a bad enough accident. They say 80% of physical activity is mental, and I'd have to agree with that. From that point on, even after I had health insurance, I was much less enthusiastic about riding trails, alone, with others, slowly or with trepidation. Getting married took all the fun out of my trail riding lifestyle. And it didn't come from Joe either. He was all supportive about me doing what made me happy. It was all in my head. I was worried about being a burden. I didn't travel to ride anywhere because it just took too much work and kept me from getting settled into my marriage and family life here. I do a really good job of exhausting myself thinking without actually doing anything. So when it came to race day with Kristi, I wasn't actually as excited as I let on. I didn't really want to leave home where I had dishes, laundry, dusting and gardening to do. Not to mention sleeping! I love sleeping! But I did. Kristi and I left and were amongst a small group of the 10am heat. And heat was right. I haven't worked out in the humidity yet, so just watching the bike and kyak was exhausting. Then I got onto the trail and it was even hotter. That and I'm not in cardio shape like I used to be, so I found myself practicing my deep breathing and self talk...ok it was more like self yell. I was yelling at myself, and I'm sure that everyone around me thought I was crazy, but at least I was motivating myself and everyone else who had to hear me screaming, "Come on! You've got this! Quit being a pansy!" and other explictives lol Foolishly I'd put "half clipless pedals" on recently (clipless means your shoes clip into either side of the small pedal. Half clipless means one side is flat for tennis shoes and the other is for clipping your shoes), since I'd been riding gravel and I hadn't thought to change them over for the race. Pretty sure I spent at least 10 minutes of the race trying to get back into my pedals after needing to clip out. ugh. That made me yell at myself more lol. The race was to be 6.2 miles and about half way through the track got really really smooth and was lots of down hill. I WAS IN HEAVEN!!! I can do fast down hills and jump over stuff when it's smooth so easily :) So once I'd gotten warmed up to where I wasn't huffing and puffing, my ride turned out to be the reminder of why I used to do this reckless thing we call single track mtb: because I love it. I love that its free. I love that not many females are brave enough to do it. I love that I can focus my mind one this one thing and feel like I've solved the world's problems in 45 minutes. And I love that it's a little reckless (not too bad since I have insurance now) It's an incredibly empowering thing to do and its something that is a part of me. Part of you gets a little lost when you settle down with someone, move, change jobs or any other big life change. I'm thankful to know that I've not lost the part of me that I felt like I found back in grad school when Stephanie Brown first took me out to the trails at Camp Alexander on my birthday with my brand new bike. So that's my word for the day. Find the parts of you that have made you feel empowered, dangerous, inspired, or even a little reckless and do them! You will not be disappointed that you didn't stay home and clean your house ;)