End of my Summer

Tomorrow I start a new job as an elementary school counselor. I've been off work for 6 weeks (thanks to my husband for understanding), and its not been what I'd expected, but it's been what I needed. I had every intention of completely deep cleaning my entire house, finishing the bathroom tile that we've been procrastinating, biking long distances, visiting many friends, blogging often and even learning to make fondant for a cake. Guess how much of that I accomplished? Well, I deep cleaned a few parts of my house... My previous job was less than wonderful, and because of that, I spent a ton of time not doing the things that make me smile or feel whole. 3 years of working somewhere you are concerned about your job security most days and expected to be something you're not can really take a toll on your happiness. So this whole time I was thinking that once I got some mental health days in, I'd be rearing to go and would get all those above things accomplished. Turns out I'd lost a little bit of who I was, and I needed to decompress to get that back. Instead, I spent lots of time watching reality tv, cooking meals for my husband, maintaining the cleanliness of my home, going for walks with my dog, tying up loose ends like getting things ordered and put away in the office, and sleeping. I was fortunate to have both my siblings visit for a week each, see my brother in law marry my new "outlaw" buddy, go to all Joe's team's tournaments and do a little shopping for myself. In all actuality, these are the things that are close to my heart that I had neglected, but didn't realize it. I have to admit that I'm not very excited to start this new job. I'd wanted a high school position, but this is the one that was close-ish and offered me a job. I would have waitied longer to find a high school job, but I needed out of the prevoius one desprately and was willing to do anything else for a year until another high school one came open. I think I'm also nervous since I'd had such high expectations for the previous position. My fault, I know, but I'd trusted that God would take care of me (in the way I'd expected) and He chose to grow me instead. I reminded him this morning while journaling in the yard on my swing that I need a little break from growing. I let him know that I'd been upset with how he let me struggle the last 3 years. He's always pretty good at taking my copmlaining. I've been really appreciative of my break. I joke with Joe that I could easily not work and be completely content. He'd disagree because he thinks I'm already starting to lose it. I'm sure I'm just getting way too involved in my own introversion, so its a litle hard for me to socialize appropriately, but I don't mind ;) So tomorrow I begin a new job and remind myself to continue to do the things that make me smile and feel whole.