Desire Mapping

So here I am sitting in my office enjoying my second snow day from work this week. Some days I hate snow, some days I really appreciate it :) A few weeks ago I decided to check out the book called "The Desire Map" by Danielle LaPorte. A few people I follow had been writing about how life changing it had been for them, and while normally I say, "well that's good for them", I'd seen the joy and exuberance that had been flowing from their pictures and words and couldn't help but be drawn to what's been causing this. While I know that the current life situation I've been given is meant to be, I've been feeling like something's been missing. For instance, 5 years ago when I moved to Portland, I did a ton of finding myself and when I came back, I found a lifestyle that made me feel free, joy, balanced and strong. I found the world of cycling and was in love with how it made me feel. I felt free riding trails, joy riding with friends, balanced by the routine spin class gave me (except for when I did too much :)) and strong by the exercise I was getting. And for a long time after moving to Garnett, I felt like I'd lost myself. Joe was so supportive in reaffirming me that I did fit in here, but I just didn't feel the way I did before. I wanted to go back to the lifestyle I'd had in Emporia where things just worked in my favor. Moving here was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I knew it was meant to be because everything lined up perfectly, but I wasn't getting those soul desired feelings met. I struggled and struggled and, after lots of lonely and tearful times, I resolved to pour myself into what it means to be myself in Garnett. It was a bit heart breaking since riding trails meant driving a half hour and planning a day...totally un-freeing. I felt lonely on my gravel rides, completely not what I got from rides in the past. I had no spin class, or fitness class in general to help me feel balanced. I had a rec center with a few cardio machines and weights. But I had to find the actual feeling I wanted and realize that it had to take on another form. I started a water aerobics class 2 summers ago and had a great turn out. I started teaching (we use that term loosly since I'm not certified, but the city doesn't care) yoga classes, and get the sense of joy with others. I recently joined a core and cardio class based on H.I.I.T. (High Intensity Interval Training) that has kicked my butt and provided that balance I needed. These are making me strong, and this makes me full. I've left out the word Free intentionally because I that one's currently in progress. I'm seeking that freedom through doing some life changing things that I'm not going to announce on the internet quite yet, but I'm really excited about what I'm working toward and the happiness it's going to bring me and my family. See, I've never been one to not see the target. I'm very driven and motivated to good feelings, so reading "The Desire Map" wasn't exactly revolutionalizing to me. More than anything it caused me to be reminded of that person I am and to help me make a few more steps in the right direction. One of those steps is in my creativity, often manifested in writing. So here I am. I won't always talk about fitness or "riding like a girl". I'm gonna talk about the essense of how things makes me free, joyful, balanced and strong. I'm a seeker. I'm not content with mediocrity (bless Joe's heart for always coming along for the ride!). I always want to increase my life in a positive way so I can give to the world from that abundance. So here goes! ps: if you've not read "The Desire Map" yet, do it. Change is scary, but boredom is scarier.